The Monaco Royal Wedding.

Dear Readers,

Why is everyone getting married? I always have mixed feelings when I write about marriages. I like writing about the ceremony, the dress and all that jazz. I hate writing about marriage, because sadly, I don't believe in it. But anyway, commitment issues aside, I just have to write about the Monaco Royal Wedding! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Prince Albert of Monaco got married. He didn't seem to enthusiastic to me, did someone force him to marry? Is he more into one-night stands and random love affairs? The bride herself looked rather depressed too. I seriously hope she's not another Lady Diana in the making. Maybe marriage-skeptics like me shouldn't watch these weddings after all, I guess it makes us even more doubtful. Oh well.

As I said, I might dislike the idea of marriage, but I hell love the idea of a wedding ceremony. So let me discuss that, and more specifically, the bride's outfits. Yes, outfits. Charlene Wittstock had two ceremonies, a civil one and a religious one. This means she needed two outfits.

Well, quite frankly, I think Charlene should have spared us the outfit she wore to the civil ceremony. Kudos for the colour, love it. Kudos for the make up and hair, simply gorgeous. But, seriously, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? Charlene wore a jumpsuit with a frilly hem. A hem many people called 'granny like' on The Royal Forums. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's not a dress. It's actually a pair of pants. I'm not over that yet. The jumpsuit was paired with a slightly darker pastel blue blazer. Why, oh why, were the two things worn together? Wouldn't it have been better if she wore a nice midi-skirt with that blazer? I mean, the blazer itself looks pretty good to me. And, another issue, why didn't she wear a headdress? Oh, wait for it, let me tell you what really makes me sad about the entire outfit. It has been designed by no one other than KARL LAGERFELD! Yes, it's a Chanel Piece! I feel so bad about that. It's probably the first Chanel piece I hate. I intend to flog myself later for expressing hate at Chanel. Sorry.

Thank God there was some glamour at the religious ceremony. I can confirm that I'm not the only one who's in love with this dress. Charlene commissioned Armani to create the dress, and as many also said, he did an excellent job. Charlene's dress was in a stunning ivory colour, with a flattering off-shoulder neckline and a huge train. I'm so into huge trains. Choo choo, love it woohoo! The dress had some serious bling bling going on: Svarovski crystals and white pearls. Though, as I said, most people I know loved the dress, Styleite said that Charlene's dress will 'forever pale in comparison' with Kate Middleton's. I don't agree. I think that we can't help but compare Charlene and the ever-loved Grace Kelly, Albert's mother. After all, they both married a Prince of Monaco. So yes, her dress will pale in comparison, but with Grace Kelly's.

-B